PREPARE FOR EXTREME PRETENTIOUSNESS!
--------------------------------------------------
Every
November for the past few years, myself and friends from my college
have done a 30 day character challenge. It's a great exercise for
creativity. Generally I begin the challenge with a ton of enthusiasm
and determination, and the first two weeks create some cool and funny
doodles. But then life gets in the way, and motivation and willpower
fail, and I give up. The November of 2014 was the first time I
actually managed to complete that 30 day challenge, which was a huge
surprise to myself. Not only that, but I was happy with how those
characters turned out, and I felt happy spending more time making
art.
After
the winter holidays, as I was preparing to travel back to the West, I
browsed many old sketchbooks from when I was younger. It was
narcissistically fascinating to see those artifacts of other versions
of myself, ages 6 to 16 and onward. And it struck me that, except for
a small few, I had forgotten about many of those characters. Not only
that, but I didn't particularly care that I had forgotten. And
neither did the other 7 billion plus people inhabiting the planet.
Neither did the uncountable number of people in the past, nor the
uncountable number of people who have yet to exist. Neither did the
planet or the sun, let alone the galaxy. All those creations are, in
the large scale, worthless.
I
felt a surge of inspiration and decided I needed to make some art to
help me think about this. So of course I went completely overboard
and declared that I would do a 365 Day Character Challenge throughout
the course of 2015. The rules I set for myself were:
1.
Create 365 characters by the end of the year
2.
Quality is unimportant, if there's time they'll be good, if there's
not they'll be shitty
3.
If you fall behind, catch up to the current day when you're able to,
but don't go further
Never
wrote them down, so I'm paraphrasing Past-me slightly. These rules
led to some interesting results. For one, it eventually occurred to
me that I never specified that I had to draw anything. Just, create.
So household objects, junk, regular food, spilled food, and post-it
notes became characters. For the most part I tried to stick to
drawing, hoping to gain a clearer understanding of my style. What
I've gathered from taking on this Challenge will hopefully be useful
moving forward.
Perfectionism
is a useless pursuit. We are all rocketing toward death, and unless
our personal passion is to cure cancer or get humanity to Mars and we
have the means to see those through, no one really cares. Even if it
were those more noble pursuits, everything eventually fades and those
are arbitrary compared to the vastness of infinity. Striving for
excellent craft is a great personal goal, but if it causes anxiety or
fear then that motivation becomes counter-productive. Focusing on the
final product seems to hinder the creative process. When I instead
focused on how I was acting, how I saw the
badass-artist-version-of-myself acting, the art almost created
itself.
Determination
seems to be important. Although many days this year I failed to
create a new character, I was eventually able to laugh the failure
off and get back to doodling. I suppose it's similar to a diet or
exercise routine. No one was holding me accountable, not truly. If I
had reached 100 doodles and announced, “This is the end, I have to
focus on other things now,” some people might be disappointed, but
no one would've died over it. However, I cared about it, for some
reason, and kept coming back to it. As a quote on my door which I
read every day says, “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.” Why only
eight, why not nine? Or twenty?
This
past year has been a wild ride. Many horrible moments, and many
fantastic moments. Somehow this challenge got completed. I'd like to
say it was be myself, but that'd be lying. I got discouraged often.
Although I tried not to think about what others thought, hearing a
response from friends to all those dumb doodles was extremely
encouraging. That kept me going sometimes. Other times the rest of
life got in the way, and a week would pass before I knew it, and
suddenly I needed to doodle seven new characters in one sitting. All
things said, it was insightful. And fun.
Ultimately,
none of these characters over this last year matter. Nothing matters.
Those doodles are artifacts, just like the thousands of drawings the
younger versions of myself made. Relics of a long-gone river. What
was important was the act of making something. Although it sounds
like a rehash of a cheesy motivational poster, there is a certain
kind of joy that comes from engaging in the creation of art. Maybe,
fulfillment? Temporary enlightenment? Taking a page from Pressfield's
book, The War of Art, maybe it's winning a battle against the force
of Resistance, that prevents the artist from reaching that feeling of
joy.
I
could keep writing about how meaningful this is to me and all these
other insights I've gained, but it's about 3:30 AM and I don't want to
get back to the exciting land of sleep I've been away from for nearly
a day. Plus, nothing matters. This 365 Character Challenge was a
useful exercise for me. I'm glad that other people got enjoyment
laughing with or at all these doodles. Thanks to those who shared
encouraging words, that helped a ton. I hope to make awesome things
in now and in the future.
The
doodles are just artifacts, the creative energy is the magic.
Godspeed,
Past-Sean
"Spiral out, keep going!"
